In my coaching work, I encounter clients who recognise that they are held hostages to unhelpful and out-dated ways of thinking. This negative self-talk tells them that they ‘should’ or ‘must’ live their lives or do their jobs in certain ways and places them under continuous stress giving rise to strong feelings of inadequacy.
Below is an exercise I recommend to clients who want to ‘spring-clean’ their thought processes and release positive energy into their lives. Just sit quietly with a pen and paper and ponder the questions below:
1. Putting up with!
- Make a list of 5 things that you are putting up with at home
- Make a list of 5 things that you are putting up with at work
- Make a list of 5 things that you are putting up with in any other area of your life
- Make an action plan to get rid of/communicate these things that you have been putting up with….
2. Unfinished matters!
- Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life
- Make an action plan of how to reduce this number
- Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short
- Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today
- Let go of as many ‘coulds’, ‘woulds’, ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ as you can. Write these down.
3. Your standards!
- Write down the standards that you have been telling yourself that you should have; let go of these and write down a list of the standards that you are going to have in your life from this day forward
- List three people who you admire the most. Identify their greatest qualities, behaviour and how they lead their life. What standards do they have? What standards could you adopt to be more like them?
- Respect that other’s standards will be different from your own. Think of three close colleagues or friends – what are their standards and how are they different to yours?
By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here and now let go of the past and of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention time – especially those thoughts that knock your confidence.
Linda McLoughlin LeadershipWorks Coach and Facilitator
Let the sun shine in your life!
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There’s an old saying that says… “If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!” Do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, whether you want to or not. Take control of your time and your goals – eat that frog…
via Eat That Frog! Movie.
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When Irish Eyes Are Crying Business: vanityfair.com.
Just want to share this article by Michael Lewis in a recent edition of Vanity Fair about our current woes – an interesting take on our psyche and reaction.
The article begins
“First Iceland. Then Greece. Now Ireland, which headed for bankruptcy with its own mysterious logic. In 2000, suddenly among the richest people in Europe, the Irish decided to buy their country—from one another. After which their banks and government really screwed them. So where’s the rage?………..Yet when I arrived, in early November 2010, Irish politics had a frozen-in-time quality to it. In Iceland, the business-friendly conservative party had been quickly tossed out of power, and the women booted the alpha males out of the banks and government. (Iceland’s new prime minister is a lesbian.) In Greece the business-friendly conservative party was also given the heave-ho, and the new government is attempting to create a sense of collective purpose, or at any rate persuade the citizens to quit cheating on their taxes. (The new Greek prime minister is not merely upstanding, but barely Greek.) Ireland was the first European country to watch its entire banking system fail, and yet its business-friendly conservative party, Fianna Fáil (pronounced “Feena Foil”), would remain in office into 2011.”
Read on and let me know what you think? The recent election results were a protest of sorts but have we lost our roar along with the celtic tiger? What’s really going to change?
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Here is a short confidence building exercise for you. If you are up for the challenge that is!
At the end of each night for 7 days I want you to write down 5 things that happened throughout the day that proved that you are ACE!
Don’t ignore the little things – they count just as much. You can include such things as complimenting someone, a good piece of work you did, the 30 minutes you spent with the kids when you would normally be watching TV – write down 3 things where you have added value to something or someone each day for 7 days.
GO FOR IT!
The 7 Day Challenge Template
Write out each of you daily three “ACE STATEMENTS” in the following format:
When I… It meant that… Afterwards I felt…
At the end of your 7 days, look back over your list you will be truly amazed at how ACE you are!
In my work as a coach, I have noticed how much the general negativity and downturn here is impacting our self esteem – we need to remind ourselves of our gifts and talents and what we can control in life. So go on combat your “inner jerk” who puts you down and boost your confidence by reminding yourselves that you are in fact ACE.
Go for Gold and connect with your positives!
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Did you know that this week is International Coaching Week (ICW – Feb 6 – 12). ICW has been celebrating the coaching profession each year since 1999.
As a coach and member of the International Coach Federation I have a proposition for you during ICW. I am offering a free of charge coaching session to the first FIVE people who contact me. If you are new to coaching, this will give you a taste of the process and if you have already sampled coaching, this is a chance to reconnect with the process. I would be delighted if you would be one of my ‘free five’.
The ICW is a designated time for coaches and clients to educate the general public and businesses about the value of working with a professional coach. During this week, coaches around the world offer a variety of activities and pro bono services within their networks and local communities to share the power of coaching in people’s personal and professional lives.
What do people say about coaching? An ICF study found a wide range of benefits reported by individuals who take part in coaching:
- Increased self-awareness 68%
- Better goal-setting 62%
- More balanced life 61%
- Lower stress levels 57%
- Enhanced self-discovery 53%
- Increased confidence 52%
- Improved quality of life 43%
- Enhanced communication skills 40%
- Increased project completion 36%
- Improved health or fitness level 34%
- Better relationship with co-workers 33%
- Better family relationships 33%
I would dearly love to hear from you and to work with you – I have personally witnessed and experienced the positive impact of coaching in my life and in the lives and careers of others I have coached.
Just leave a comment on the blog with your contact details and I will be in touch to arrange. Go on be one of my free five!
What to know more? Email me for a copy of my free e-booklet – So What is Caoching?
| Linda is a qualified coach with many years of experience in management and business. She is a mother of three grown up children and is a Reiki Master. Linda brings her life, work and healing experiences to her work as a coach. She works with a broad cross-section of people, professionals and teams and has worked in Africa, South America, Europe, US and the Middle East. www.leadershipworks.ie
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January 24th, 2011 · Leadership
Do you wonder how you are doing in your leadership role? Now you can benchmark yourself against a new study of 155 CEOs and 1,044 Senior Executive VPs from over 400 organizations globally. In their latest report, the Management Research Group (MRG) has identified eight leadership behaviours that distinguish exceptional leaders from the rest.
The leaders that were deemed most effective by their bosses; peers and staff consistently demonstrated the eight competencies and behaviours listed below using performance feed-back collected from MRG’s LEA 360™ leadership assessment tool.
In order of importance (starting with the most important), superior senior level leaders:
- Analyze the future impact of their decisions and understand the impact of these decisions throughout the organization
- Clearly express their thoughts and ideas, keeping others informed of their expectations
- Energize others, getting them enthusiastic and involved
- Use effective persuasion to build commitment to their ideas and initiatives
- Maintain in-depth knowledge and expertise in their area
- Are comfortable being the one in charge and seek out opportunities to be influential. They know and accept the fact that they will be under constant scrutiny
- Demonstrate an active concern for others and form supportive relationships
- Set deadlines and monitor the progress of activities to ensure success.
We are all faced with competing demands for our time and attention on a daily basis. To be truly effective as a leader, ask yourself are you choosing to invest your time and energy in the right behaviours and activities? Clearly not all leaders are equal and some are more equal than others – are you distinguising yourself as great rather than good?
With the general election looming, let’s hope our next Taoiseach can pass the exceptional leadership test.
Linda McLoughlin, LeadershipWorks Coach and Facilitator
do you win gold as a leader?
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Happy New Year to you all and may 2010 continue to connect us in the important work of leadership.
While I know most of us have been battling the extreme cold snap here in Ireland, let’s try to warm ourseves figurately at least with a break from all the doom and gloom.
Watch this 3 minute video called Smile and Move tm – a fun new call-to-action that you and your colleagues can use as a reminder to stay focused on the things that really matter and add value. It’s all about attitude and action. There are 5 ways to smile and 4 ways to move. Click here to watch the short smovie.
Go on and embrace the ’smove’ philosophy! Pass this on and spread a little positivity.
Learn about each way by visiting SmileAndMove.com or by picking up a copy of the little book at GiveMore.com/smile (20-minute read).
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December 8th, 2009 · Leadership
On the eve of the 2010 Budget, let’s remind ourselves of the old adage – “Save during boom, spend during bust”.
This is the simple and basic principle we can learn from the Great Depression and the leadership of President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
In effect this means that during the good times we need to be prudent, plan and save so that when times get harder (like now), we use our nest egg to create new opportunities and to take some calculated risks. We can apply this economic principle to our practice of leadership and to our own leadership development.
This is the time to invest in yourself; your people and your business. This investment is not just about money but also about taking time to take stock. Those organisations and individuals most likely to survive will use this opportunity to re-brand themselves in terms of up-skilling; improving their core competencies; finding new abilities; seeking new opportunities and revisiting career goals.
How does this give them an advantage during recessionary times? Because while others are in a ‘cutback’ frame of mind and ‘down-sizing’ their talents, investing now in your and others’ leadership capacity will give you the confidence and creativity to make it through. A key question for us all right now is:
“What is it that the world of tomorrow needs that I can uniquely offer?”
Leadership coaching can help you find the answer to that key question and is powerful way to create advantage in your life. You can create advantage by:
- Performing better in your current role so you become invaluable
- Appreciating your current leadership level and leadership identity
- Understanding the environmental and social trends affecting the future of business, and your organisation’s place in that
- Being the change your organisation needs you to be
- Developing new strategies for influencing others
- Mentoring your key staff
- Improving your communication skills around your vision and values.
Many leaders will use the recession as an excuse to keep themselves in their comfort zones and just reason that it’s best to keep the head down until they see some green-shoots in the economy. However, the perfect time is now and it’s always now. So go on and apply the FDR principle – save during boom and spend during bust – invest in your talent and future. Are you ready to invest in yourself?
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The Murphy Report. Another nail in the coffin of institutional trust in Ireland. Traditional authority figues – bishops; bankers; politicians – have breached our trust; faith and hope in leadership and in our ‘elders and betters’.
Empathy is the basis of trust and we seem to be experiencing a real deficit in both. When bad events happen and leadership matters most, it is empathy that allows leaders to guide people through times of severe distress. As Daniel Goleman says: “Leadership works through emotions. The more emotionally demanding the work, the more empathetic the leaders needs to be.”
Even if we could administer a type of ‘empathy vaccine’, will our institutions be capable of re-establishing corporate trust? Unlikely over the medium term. Consider the new Generation Y (those born between 1980 and 2000) and due to be the biggest slice of the workforce by 2025. Gen Ys are by nature anti-establishment having seen their parents work hard and struggle with the institutions of business and state.
Gen Ys have grown up amidst corporate scandal, bankruptcy and poor ethics. They are under no illusions. Work to them is a means to an end – a career is what they do to make the money needed to fulfill their life goals. Loyalty to the team has replaced loyalty to any organisation. Given this values shift, we need to fundamentally re-think our concepts of authority and governance.
New research has shown that Gen Ys are more likely to trust information from peers than data provided by official sources. They are a technology savvy group who with the help of social media can bypass traditional channels of information and communication. Has Government even begun to consider the impact of this especially on public services and on public policy?
For instance, websites MUMSNET and NETMUMS - resources for new mums by other new mums – are fast becoming the preferred source of UK parenting advice supplanting health visitors, clinics and reference books by the medical profession. The days of the expert; the official; the spokesperson are numbered as the masses begin to create their own reference points. Reference points they can trust and that can respond with empathy to their issues and concerns.
What is the new work of leaders in a ‘not to trust’ world and in the light of new social norms and recent events?
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INTRODUCING MY BLOG and MY FIRST POST
The trouble with public servants
The trouble with public servants is the number of them; the cost of their pensions; their lack of productivity. Or so the story goes in the popular (mis)interpretation of the root cause of Ireland’s economic woes.
In the midst of such blame game, the new million euro question for public service managers is how to lead a demoralised workforce against a backdrop of severe cuts and the imperative to keep public services alive and well while at the same time restoring public confidence?
If it was simply a question of keeping the show on the road, we might just muddle through somehow … However, the big ‘ask’ now is how to fundamentally re-think and re-configure our services and their delivery to create improved efficiencies and citizen focus within a radically different Irish society and economy? Transformational change is top of the agenda. And leadership is the only show in town. Leadership works and the work is leadership.
How can you release/renew/ reinvigorate your leadership potential as a public manager for the challenges we face? There is no silver bullet but each week I will share the latest in leadership thinking from world class gurus and proven tools and techniques from my own and others’ experience with a generous dose of inspiration, motivation and support.
I truly believe that a strong sense of community and personal connection supports us in the practice of leadership and I look forward to us developing a dialogue to build momentum and confidence for the leadership challenges ahead to help put Ireland Inc back on track.
To get our conversation started, I invite you to check out this link to DID YOU KNOW? It’s an intriguing 5 minute slideshow that puts the rollercoaster pace of change since October 2009 in context – we are truly living in exponential times. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY
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